


Five Delicate Lies, and One Painful Fact.

by LarkandLioness



Category: Shades of London Series - Maureen Johnson
Genre: 5 Times, Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Author Is Sleep Deprived, Emotional Baggage, Emotional Hurt, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotionally Repressed, F/M, I Can't Believe I Wrote This, I Tried, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Late Night Conversations, Late at Night, Lies, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Movie Quotation(s), Not Beta Read, POV Third Person, Panic Attacks, Paperwork, Regret, Star Trek References, The Author Regrets Everything, Unresolved Emotional Tension, Why Did I Write This?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-01
Updated: 2019-04-11
Packaged: 2019-12-30 05:18:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 925
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18308966
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LarkandLioness/pseuds/LarkandLioness
Summary: Five times Stephen lied to Rory with the best intentions, and the future it led to.





	1. I'm Five Minutes Away.

It starts with an emergency text from Rory.   
He digs through piles of papers, and searches frantically for his keys, but can't find them. He rifles through the kitchen drawers, and under the couch cushions for spare change, but comes up empty. He smacks his head, and throws his coat on. He scrawls a note and runs out the door, slamming it behind him.  
He takes out his phone. "Stay there, I'm coming to get you out of there. Just listen to my voice, I'm here, it's alright, it's okay, you're alright, I'll be there soon..."  
He let her hug him and cry into his chest, as he rubbed circles on her back.


	2. I Wasn't Asleep.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stephen keeps setting his phone alarm for when Rory needs him. Or, he fell asleep doing research and has to be coaxed back to bed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so, so sorry! This is one of those chapters where I could NOT get from point A to point B, and skipped other letters of the alphabet too, but I thought it was better to just post SOMETHING rather than nothing.   
> Comment, suggestions, and helpful reviews are always welcome more than words can express!  
> Hopefully inspiration strikes soon...

The familiar chime rings out in the middle of a nightmare. Stephen jolts awake. _It's her. _He thinks. He gropes for his phone as it rings again, buried under papers.__  
He unearthes it as it rings a third time. The sound pierces the air, and echoes faintly through the house.  
Stephen barely reads the time as he slashes and stabs as the screen with his fingers, cursing quietly.  
"Hello?"  
"I'm not tired!" He insisted later. He rubbed the back of his neck. He had definitely pulled a muscle, either when he jumped in his chair, or when he fell asleep.   
"You can call me whenever you want," He said later as he dug his fingers into his neck. "Even if you don't have a reason."


	3. "It's Fine."

"It's fine." Stephen said. He tried to smile, but his heart obviously wasn't in it.   
It was not fine.   
"You know, it's okay to cry. In fact, I think it makes you stronger. This one guy--" I launched into my story.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I swear, up and down, I really, truly, don't hate Stephen! I love him. He's my favorite character.   
> I just really want him to cry!  
> A careful reading of "The Boy in the Smoke.", never shows Stephen crying, or even feeling close, even when he's alone after his sister died. And because of that, I don't think he likely cried during all the crap in the Shades of London series.   
> Stephen's gotten angry, and frustrated, and sad, but he NEEDS to cry!  
> Crying can release stress, anxiety, and grief. It helps with emotional equilibrium. I know I always feel better, lighter, after crying.   
> The question is: what would make Stephen cry now?  
> I have a lot of feelings about this, and want to treat the whole scene with respect. It's why nothing happens in this chapter.


	4. "We're Just Friends."

She's bright and warm and beautiful. He quickly looks away, but it's too late -- he's caught.  
She asks the question he dreads most: "Did you just pretend to like me?"  
He shakes his head, hard. "No, no. Not at all!" He sounds frantic, but he remembers the last time she asked him that too well, even if in the end, she didn't. She deserves better. For a moment, her eyes shine with hope.  
"You aren't good enough!" He has to remind himself, and takes a breath. "But it would never work out between us." He forces the words out of his mouth. "We're just friends."  
A famous quote pops into his head as he puts a hand on her shoulder, and he adds in a low voice. "I am, and will always be, your friend."  
He quickly walks away, and can't look at her standing alone.  
She deserves better than him.


	5. "I'm Fine."

"I'm fine." He said, caught red-handed staring sadly at the old maroon Wexford tie in his hands.  
He felt the weight of Boo's gaze on him, but didn't look up. This tie was the only physical reminder he had left of Rory, once her parents took her back across the pond. She would never come back. She was beyond his reach.  
He thought of the light that left her eyes the last time they saw each other. Wherever she was, or whatever she was doing, he hoped she was happy now.


	6. The Truth.

Freddie, Callum and Boo had the quietest argument they could at the back of the house, but things still got heated. There was only one way to settle something this important, and after losing the Very Definitely Last Round of ROCK PAPER SCISSORS, Boo walked down the hall and opened the door. Stephen wasn't to be disturbed.The books and half-finished paperwork spread over the couch, and on the rickety table they'd dragged over to him, could attest to that. His somber figure lay propped up on the couch, his legs bandaged and elevated by most of the pillows they had. A cold cup of tea sat by his elbow, untouched. Boo came up to him with a smile plastered on her face. First she saw the dark circles, then the far-off look in his eyes. Then he must have heard her as she stepped on a loose floorboard or something, and she lost her glimpse of him.  
He didn't turn around, but his shoulders stiffened and rose towards his ears.  
Boo squared her shoulders back in determination. Stephen didn't grab his crutches off the floor and hobble out. That was good. She shifted books around, and sat down near him.  
Stephen's shoulders crept back down when she didn't say anything.  
_Okay, brilliant!_ Boo hummed anxiously and drummed her fingers on her thighs. _Just talk about the good times in general, tip-toeing through parts she was there _Boo told herself. _And ignore the parts where you're bad at that.___ When he didn't shut her down, she took it as a sign to continue. To remind Stephen of the good times.  
Remind him why he should go on.  
Then, the most important part.  
"You're not alone." She said.  
Propel him to go back out on the streets. In a group this time. Get out. Help people. It went better than she expected. He chipped in. More than he'd talked in awhile, but when Stephen's passionate about something, he's surprisingly talkative. And then he did it.   
He mentioned Rory.   
Her name just slipped out. He stuttered, shocked, and squeezed his eyes in pain. But he didn't slow down.   
He finished his sentence, and they sat in silence.   
Boo rocked side to side, never good with silence. It warred with her compassion. After a moment, she spoke. "Do you miss her?" Her voice was scarcely a whisper. In three words, he broke her heart.  
"All the time."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First, I was in a mood. I think that explains most of it. One where I wanted to write in a pusdio-British way, and end things in a slightly happy way. So at least Stephen's beginning to talk about it.  
> As for what "It" is, I don't know yet. It's part of something bigger that I desperately want to write or read, but just can't yet!  
> Thirdly, I apologize if Boo seems OOC, but I just realized I only remember three conversations total she had in the series, and I kind of low-key panicked the whole time I was writing.  
> I think we're on number four now, but disclaimer that the last twenty-five words of this fic are not mine, insofar as the English language belongs to anyone. They're from a writing prompt, which is why they're the best part.

**Author's Note:**

> For everyone who liked "Five Times Stephen Proposed to Rory..." I'm sorry, this was the best I could do right now. It will get better, I just need a beta. Any volunteers?


End file.
